THE SURF REPORT: May Sweeps & Season Finales--5/6/06

My TV head hurts because it's too overloaded! I'm trying to concentrate on May sweeps episodes but I can't ignore the fact that the broadcast networks are picking up new shows before the upcoming upfront announcements. FOX picked up two dramas today: PRIMARY, which is about two hostage negotiators, played by Ron Livingston [aka Jack Berger, the man who broke up with Carrie Bradshaw via a Post-It saying "I can't, I'm sorry, don't hate me"] and Rosemarie DeWitt [she was in a couple of RESCUE ME episodes], who work together and are also in a relationship with each other. The second drama is AMERICAN CRIME, which features a cast including Victor Garber (ALIAS), Eamonn Walker (OZ and ER) and Kerr Smith; that show is about attorneys who handle high-profile and/or celebrity cases and the show is shot news-style which I'm guessing means the camerawork will be a tad shaky. I think I mentioned this already but just in case: NBC picked up STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP, Aaron Sorkin's behind-the-scenes dramedy about a latenight TV show starring Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford and Amanda Peet.

Last night's OFFICE episode "Conflict Resolution" was another instant classic. I loved Dwight's standing weekly appointment to file grievances against Jim. I loved Jim's list of all the pranks he's played on Dwight, particularly paying everyone 5 bucks to call him "Dwayne" all day and then Jim remarking "And it was TOTALLY worth it." Also priceless, the soft-spoken Phyllis telling crabby Angela "I don't like you." It's a gem of an episode that is saved on my DVR so I can watch it again. Greg Daniels wrote this standout episode. I can't wait for the supersize season finale!

I've been watching WILL & GRACE lately but it's hard to sit through the show anymore. The jokes are much weaker and even the emotional moments don't click. I still think Megan Mullally is a comedy treasure but I'm sad that the show is limping to a close.

Music on TV note: Pearl Jam was on Letterman and they played an extra half-hour in addition to their performance on the show. If you'd like to see that, click to http://www.cbs.com/innertube/index.php and select that clip. This is part of the launch of Innertube, CBS's new free advertising-supporter broadband channel.

Applause must be given to the LOST crew and all the show's for using the internet to maximum effect. See the L.A. TIMES at the end of today's email for more about the Losties never-ending hunger for info about the show.

I'll be catching up on TV this weekend because I must be prepared for the VERONICA MARS season finale this coming Tuesday.

Let's get to your weekend rundown.

Tonight - Friday 5/5
ABC: America's Funniest Home Videos, Primetime Live, 20/20

CBS: Ghost Whisperer (Season Finale), Close To Home, Numb3rs

NBC: Deal or No Deal, Las Vegas, Conviction

FOX: Movie: School of RockWB: Survival of the Richest (Season Finale), Reba (Season Finale), Reba (R)

UPN: WWE Smackdown!

8pm - CMT: Ultimate Coyote Ugly Search, Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader: Making the Team
OK - the title ULTIMATE COYOTE UGLY SEARCH caught my eye so I had to find out what it was about. Here's the 411 from the CMT folks: "The series follows Coyote Ugly founder Liliana Lovell's nationwide search for the ultimate coyote - a woman who can sing, dance, flair and bartend better than any other. Beginning in NY, two women are chosen in each of five cities to join a road trip down to New Orleans where Lil lives and where the New Orleans bar needs a grand re-opening. Along the way the women will learn all the Coyote skills - bar flairing, singing, dancing and bartending. Lil will decide who stays on the road trip and who is sent home in regular eliminations until we find five finalists who will compete to be the one to win $25,000 on the night of the bar's grand re-opening. Lil is assisted in her search by veteran Coyotes/mentors Cyndi and Chantel and by choreographer Jacqui."

In tonight's episode, "With seven girls left on the bus the competition is really starting to get moving as they leave behind the city of San Antonio and the first finalist to be cut by Lil. As Cyndi, Chantel and Lil continue on to Denver for more auditions, the finalists are left alone on the bus with nothing but time on their hands. Will they use this time to practice or will it be nothing but time well wasted? Then to keep everyone on their toes, the girls are taught some basic flair skills to enhance the bartending skills they have been learning along the way. A quick lunch trip turns into a dance-off between the contestants, and the winner comes as a shock to everyone, especially Lil."

Court TV: L.A. Forensics

Discovery: I Shouldn't Be Alive

E! - 1030pm ET/PT, 930pm Central - Chelsea Handler Show

ESPN: NBA Playoffs: San Antonio Spurs at Sacramento Kings (Live, 7:30pm EST)

HBO - 11pm - Real Time with Bill Maher
Bill welcomes actor Bradley Whitford, Fmr. PM of Canada Kim Campbell, and Former Gov. James Gilmore. Plus, via satellite, Gen. Wesley Clark, and Sen. Mel Martinez.

MTV2: Andy Milonakis Show, Wondershowzen

Sci Fi: Doctor WhoStyle Network: Modern Girl's Guide to Life, Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?TLC: What Not To Wear

Saturday 5/6
ABC: Movie: Seabiscuit
CBS: CSI: New York (R), CSI (R), 48 Hours Mystery
NBC: Dateline, Law & Order: SVU (R), Law & Order: Criminal Intent (R)
FOX: Cops, Cops 2 (R), America's Most Wanted

11:29pm - NBC - Tom Hanks hosts SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE and hypes "The Da Vinci Code" while also welcoming musical guest Red Hot Chili Peppers. The new Chili Peppers CD will be released this coming Tuesday May 9. Also being released May 9: the Gnarls Barkley CD "St. Elsewhere".

Sunday 5/7
ABC: Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (2 episodes), Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy
On DH: Bree's son Andrew does something really awful (not sure if the fire in the promo has anything to do with Andrew) and Lynette's husband Tom may be looking for a new gig.

All ABC says about GREY'S is "The interns deal with a family involved in a car accident, Derek lets his emotions get the best of him, and Burke and Izzie make a new suggestion to Denny."

CBS: 60 Minutes, Cold Case, CSI: Miami (R), CSI: New York (R)

NBC: Dateline NBC, The West Wing, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Crossing Jordan (100th Episode, Season Finale)

On WEST WING: "As Bartlet's administration prepares to transition in the Santos administration, CJ is faced with what to do with her future. Will (Josh Malina) is also in a position of uncertainty about what is to come."

Hmm, out of 100 episodes of CROSSING JORDAN, I think I've seen maybe one entire episode. Probably not even that. It's so not on my TV radar.

FOX: The Simpsons (R), King of the Hill, The Simpsons, Family Guy (R), Family Guy, American Dad

WB: Reba (R), Reba (R) Charmed, Charmed (R)

A&E: Intervention

E!: True Hollywood Story

Food Network: Iron Chef America

HBO: The Sopranos, Big Love
On THE SOPRANOS: "The Ride": "Christopher makes a surprise announcement; Paulie pays a price for cutting costs at an Italian Street Fair; Tony embraces the "old school."

On BIG LOVE: "A Barbecue for Betty" - "Bill celebrates being "free and clear" from Roman, but the Prophet's meddling might not be over. Nicki drops a bombshell on Bill, hoping for forgiveness but fearing the worst. Don falls hard for a woman named Betty. Bill vents to Sarah after a run-in with the law. A vote-obsessed Margene leaves a "Chad" hanging."

National Geo: Lockdown
Sci-Fi: Ghost Hunters

10pm - Showtime: HuffIn an episode titled "Breach of Contract", "Huff worries Russell may have hit rock bottom, while Huff's son Byrd gets into trouble for his ghoulish art project. Ben and Izzy escalate the tension between them and Huff gets high again with Dr. Lena Markova (Anjelica Huston)."

VH1: Surreal Life, Hogan Knows Best, So NoTORIous

Today's SURF REPORT written while listening to Michael Penn and Aimee Mann's lovely cover of The Beatles "Two of Us".

Early heads up for next week:
Monday 5/8:
The WB's cornerstone show 7TH HEAVEN has its series finale. Contradicting the rampant rumors, a statement was released that Monday's episode WILL be the show's series finale and it will not continue on the new CW network. No spinoff is planned either.

The PRISON BREAK finally happens in Monday's episode of the show even though it's not the season finale.

UPN's GIRLFRIENDS has its one hour season finale.

ABC's WHAT ABOUT BRIAN has its finale. The show had some promise when it started but last week's episode was a big ol' mess. It tried to be wacky and emotional and the mix fell completely flat.

Tuesday May 9:
GILMORE GIRLS has its season finale (WB).

VERONICA MARS has its season finale (UPN).

Here's the LA TIMES article about LOST:
TELEVISION
More 'Lost' than ever
The hit ABC series rolls out a game to enhance the viewer experience. If you can find it, that is.By Maria Elena Fernandez Times Staff WriterMay 5, 2006The important numbers on "Lost" may be 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42, but 44 was the key on Wednesday's episode: That was how many commercials aired before the Clue finally came in the form of an ad for the show's dubious Hanso Foundation: "Since the dawn of time, man has been curious, imagining all that is possible," intoned a smooth male voice. "The Hanso Foundation, reaching out to a better tomorrow. Discover the experience for yourself. Call 877-HANSORG." And thus the launch of the new "Lost Experience," an alternative-reality game based on the show that provides fans with a network of leads and clues to further explore the mysteries of the "Lost" island. But just try reaching that Hanso man. If you weren't already confounded by Jack and the gang, and that vexing island, trying to get through on the phone certainly could send you over the edge. ABC and 19 other networks across five continents launched the "Experience" Wednesday (it will run through early fall), but it hit Europe first, and when the web postings went up, desperate Americans started dialing international phone numbers in a race to be the first to discover the game's first location. Some got through; others were saddled with disappointing busy-busy-busy signals. "We were blown away," said Steve McPherson, ABC's president of prime-time entertainment. "It opened in Europe first and the lines just absolutely exploded, shut down several times, with a huge portion of the callers calling from the United States. In hindsight, you would want more and more and more [lines]. But we had a lot. We anticipated a good response, but this response has been overwhelming." About as overwhelming as the clues themselves. We claim no expertise here, but we're in the business of sharing, so here's where the "Lost Experience" has taken us, so far:Call 877-HANSORG and you will hear a recording offering five options: 1) General; 2) Alvar Hanso; 3) Dr. Thomas Mittelwerk; 4) Hugh McIntyre; 5) Peter Thompson. Who are they and what did they have to say when you called them? For us, nothing, because it's been busy ever since. But that's what the web is for. The devoted folks at thelostexperienceclues.blogspot.com have provided transcripts of all the Hanso phone messages, while followers from thetailsection.com have posted audio versions of the same. There is a Hanso Foundation news release and other confusing clues that involve using "breaking strain" as a password, a woman named Persephone, an address for the Hanso Foundation that appears to be in Denmark, and a job posting on Monster.com, which a British fan has deciphered on the-lost-experience.blogspot.com. The job involves making new software for test subjects and product testing.From thelostexperienceclues.blogspot.com, we also glean that thehansofoundation.org is where we need to go next. There are executive bios, a mission statement, a link about a life-extension project involving a 105-year-old orangutan named Joop, and hypnotizing music. If you sign up for a newsletter, the foundation writes back letter by letter, much like Walt's computer chat with Michael earlier this season. A posting Thursday on thelostexperienceclues.blogspot.com reveals a new tidbit about thehansofoundation.org and shows how seriously fans are taking this experience: "In Active Projects / Electromagnetic Research Initiative there is a picture with the caption 'Early Morning Hours of October 28, 2001.' The photo is of the northern lights. A Google search of October 28, 2001, will get you a first result of a NASA page with photos of the northern lights acting up on that day. The photo of Alvar Hanso is captioned as being taken on October 28, 2003, at a humanitarian or diplomatic venture. A Google search of that date brings up a presidential press conference and then a NASA page on a Solar Storm." What does this mean, and more important, what does this have to do with ABC's top-rated series?We expressed our confusion to ABC's McPherson. He laughed. He also sympathized and shared that he himself is feeling a little lost. "I'm going to get a tutorial this weekend," McPherson said. "I'm in the middle of [pilot] screenings. My plate is full right now. Luckily, I've got a tutor, so it will be a private lesson."

That's a wrap for this week.